music

sad again...will this ever go away? i have a sneaking suspicion it will not, but i can only hope it will get easier. anyway, as you all probably know, music is my biggest outlet and escape. no matter how i am feeling, i can always find a song or two to delve into and express myself. it's amazing how someone can write a song that can mean so many different things to so many different people, and when you pick them apart you can always find a bit of yourself in most songs. so, to try to make myself feel a little better, i decided to write (type) out a few pieces from a few songs that describe me today...

"i'll sing it one last time for you, and then we really have to go. you've been the only thing that's good in all i've done...light up, light up as if you have a choice. even if you can't always hear my voice, i'll be right beside you dear." (this is what will be on the back of my baby's headstone...i couldn't have said how i feel about my babies better than this song says it for me)

"run" snowpatrol

"love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah...it's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."

"hallelujah" rufus wainwright

"if i should die this very day, don't cry because on earth we weren't meant to stay, and no matter what the people say, i'll be waiting for you at the judgement day...your love is my love and my love is your love. it would take an eternity to break us, and the chains of amestad couldn't hold us."

"your love is my love" whitney houston

"i've got sunshine on a cloudy day. when it's cold outside i've got the month of may. i guess you'd say what can make me feel this way...my girl" (just thought i would throw that one in there...i used to sing it to her, and she loved it.)

"my girl" the temptations

i guess that's all the songs for now. i could write on and on about music, but really it would just be a distraction from the pain right now, and tonight is one of those nights i really don't want to forget how bad it hurts. i just want to sit and cry. i tried to go to the cememtery a few minutes ago, knowing the gates would be closed for the night, but hoping maybe they forgot to shut one of them. i just want to sit in the dark with my baby girl and cry for the rest of the night, and i would have had that stupid gate been open, but, of course, it wasn't. so now i'm sitting here in my room typing and crying and wishing that i could go back in time and bring my pootie back. anyway, i guess that's all for tonight. i love you all, and thank you for reading my blogs.